Mom can we go see Guardians of the Galaxy?
The hottest movie of the summer has a PG-13 rating and a bunch of children (and adults) clamoring to watch it. Guardians of the Galaxy a movie originally thought to be a hard sell is proving everyone wrong but its also on the lips of many under the age of 13 so when you get asked, and I’m sure you have been already here’s your guide to if its suitable for your child.
NOTE: This is an extremely spoiled review of Guardians of the Galaxy and its intention is to let parents make an informed decision. If you don’t want to know plot details or you aren’t wondering if its safe for your child to watch don’t read, do click away and read something else.
Guardians of the Galaxy is another great Marvel creation lets just get that out of the way. The movie starts with an 8 year old Peter Quill who’s is at the hospital where his mom is very sick. Peter’s mom most likely has cancer (and yes she dies), this causes Peter to break down, run away and get abducted by aliens. So in the first 10 minutes we have parental death and kidnapping. Fast forward to an adult Peter Quill AKA Star-Lord who steals galactic treasures and runs.
The Guardians are:
Peter (Chris Pratt) – smart mouth thief thought to be human but turns out he’s half alien.
Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper) – a raccoon that can walk and talk because he was illegally experimented on. He’s bitter about it, super smart, a jerk, foul-mouthed and lethal.
Groot (Vin Diesel) – Rocket’s bodyguard. He’s a giant tree who follows directions and protects Rocket. Very lethal but also very magical and tender when he’s not on Rocket’s orders. He can only say 1 thing, “I am Groot”.
Gamora (Zoe Saldana) – adopted daughter of Thanos the destroyer. She’s probably the most deadly of them all and had an alternate agenda.
Drax (Dave Bautista) – He’s from a race of people who cannot understand sarcasm, metaphors or inference.
The main villain is Ronan the Accuser (Lee Pace). He’s a Kree nationalist but for all intents and purposes he’s a terrorist. His people have a peace treaty with Xandarians. He does not care about the peace treaty and is completely twisted and cruel. He kills a Xandarian with a sledgehammer to the head (offscreen) in the early parts of the film.
Other bad characters include Nebula (Karen Gillan), Gamora’s sister who does not appreciate she’s not the favorite even though she’s the most loyal. She’s definitely capable of a lot of carnage along the way and is fueled by her jealously of Gamora and her personal rage.
When the Guardians first meet they are not friends but when they end up in prison together is when they decide to team up. Gamora gets threatened beat up and almost tortured in prison before its stopped by the others. The prison riot in which they escape results in a lot of collateral damage and death but its all slightly out of frame there’s actually a rather cool in 3-D moment when Rocket is shooting everything while on Groot’s shoulder.
Other characters include Yondu (Michael Rooker) the alien who kidnapped Peter as a child. He’s a trader and a thief and had a sharp blade in his holster pocket that he can control by whistling. He uses it to threaten pretty much everybody but doesn’t kill till much later. Nova Prime (Glenn Close) The leader of the Nova Corps basically the President. Korath (Djimon Hounsou) a general of sorts who chases after Quill throughout the film on orders from Ronan. And the Collector (Benicio del Toro) first seen in the bonus credits scene of Thor The Dark World. His collection is filled with many odd and unusual items and beings including people he has enslaved like his former assistant.
The main plot of the story surrounds a mysterious and ancient stone that can destroy worlds. Most people who have tried in the past have died trying to wield the power of the stone. Touching the stone will cause the energy to make your body explode. Quill steals it (in its protective case) in the beginning and everyone who knows about it chases him down to get it.
Death toll: Too many to count. The only one that made my daughter flinch was the hammer to the head.
Also at various points Gamora, Drax, Peter Quill and Groot all nearly die only to be revived in different ways.
Obscenities: Not too bad. PG-13 allows 1 f-bomb which I think I never heard but i do know you are allowed pretty much all the other curses and you hear a few, but its a lot of insults and so cutaway audio cursing from Rocket.
Its a comic book movie so fantasy violence is going to be at its peak. Fighting, stabbing threats are all going to be there. Have a kid who likes to repeat and script movies? Be prepared for a lot of Rocket imitations then.
Sexual themes: Its more implied than anything else. Peter has a previous conquest in her plane he forgets is there. There’s some guy talk about previous conquests and how certain species are good, bad or crazy but depending on the age of your children this will co straight over their heads. Stan Lee in as his typical Marvel cameo is labeled as a ladies man who’s a cradle robber.
Pay-off. In the end the good guys do win with a lot of people dying to get there. Its a happy open ended ending. And well baby Groot dances his way into your heart see?
So there you have it. Think your children can handle that? Wondering when you need to schedule a pee break or if you should just skip it and rent it so you can fast forward thru the more questionable parts? Its all here for you and I hope I answered your questions. If not leave a comment!